10 (non-financial) Keys to Retirement Planning

Retirement planning usually focuses on finances—how you'll afford it. But that's only part of the picture. The harder questions are about how you'll actually live day-to-day and how your relationships will change. The answers aren't simple.

1) Why are you always here?

For 20, 30, maybe 40 years, you've been apart 9-10 hours a day, five or six days a week. You lived under the same roof but not in each other's space constantly. You each developed your own rhythms and habits. You eat lunch your way; your spouse eats it theirs.

Talk with your spouse about what retirement will look like. Pre-retirement counseling can help. Adjusting to being around each other all day might take months or a year. You'll need to learn new ways to communicate. Give this transition the attention it deserves, and give each other space—before you desperately need it.

2) What do you mean you want to golf?

What does retirement mean to you? What does it mean to your spouse? Many couples never actually discuss this, so they end up with completely different expectations.

He might have imagined golfing every day. She might have imagined finally sleeping in, traveling, or having him around more. The day after retirement, both of you will hit some surprises. Make room for each other's plans and learn to compromise. In many ways, retirement feels like starting a marriage over—you're learning to live together all over again.

3) Get exercise – join a gym together

Use it or lose it. At 20, you could take three months off and bounce back. Not anymore. Your body gives you one more chance each day. If you skip it, you might not get another.

Keep moving. Join a gym together, walk a local track, or find a jogging trail. It's good for your heart, muscles, blood pressure, bones, brain, and libido.

4) Show me the money

If you don't have a financial advisor, get one. People are living longer but retiring at the same age, which means you need either more savings or a better strategy to stretch what you have. Review your life and health insurance policies. Update your will and consider a living will. Having these in place brings real peace of mind.

5) Know your boundaries

The moment people know you're retired, they'll assume you have extra time and money. If you're willing to do anything, someone will take you up on it. Your life will have an agenda—either yours or someone else's. Set your own before anyone asks.

Helping out is great. If you want to watch the grandkids while your kids work, wonderful. You'll help them, and you and the grandkids will build real memories. But this isn't your job unless you decide it is.

Make sure you're getting what you need. If you do watch the grandkids, they should have a backup plan so you can take time off without guilt. A practical approach: "I'll watch them for the next three months to help you save money." Then actually take a break. It keeps everyone independent.

Learn to say no and mean it. You can say it kindly and still be clear. Don't hide behind excuses—excuses can be worked around, and they send the signal that you're not serious. If you're not used to saying no, it might sound harsh at first. That's okay. People adjust.

6) Get a hobby

This is hard for most retirees. Without work, what comes next? Some watch television all day, read constantly, or sleep more. None of that is wrong in moderation, but taken to extremes, they feed depression. You need something that makes you feel productive.

Start with one hobby. Learn it deeply—take classes, read, research online, then practice. Become good at it. Whether it's a musical instrument, woodworking, stained glass, writing, or gardening, actually enjoy the work.

7) Keep the juices flowing

Working people rarely develop dementia or Alzheimer's, not because of the work itself but because their minds stay active. Even young people who mentally coast lose the ability to think creatively, analyze, and make good decisions.

You're never too old to learn, even if it takes longer than it used to. The good news: your ability to learn improves once you start using it. At minimum, do one crossword puzzle a day, take your vitamins, and get some exercise. These basics help keep confusion at bay and preserve your mental sharpness.

8) Get rid of old stuff

That orange polyester pantsuit isn't coming back into style. Get rid of it. Get rid of all the other things you don't actually use.

Yes, you paid good money for it. But it's old, and you've moved on. If leisure suits somehow became fashionable again, you could afford a fresh one without the yellowed tinge and decades of styling gel residue.

Remember sorting through grandma's house and laughing at what she kept? Don't be that person. Do your kids a favor and clear out your own clutter instead of leaving it for them.

9) Volunteer your time

Horace Mann, founder of American public education, said: "Be ashamed to die before you have won some victory for humanity." What have you done lately?

You've spent 65 to 70 years gathering knowledge, experience, wisdom, and common sense. It's wasteful to let that sit idle.

Ask your pastor, priest, or rabbi what your church or community needs. They'll have a list. Spend time with kids. Mentor them. Teach Sunday school. Volunteer with youth programs. Many kids don't have grandparents nearby. Unofficially adopt a few and make a real difference in their lives.

Working with kids benefits them, but you'll get more out of it than you'd expect. Their energy and joy will rub off on you, and you'll find more life satisfaction than if you'd spent that time at home or with friends.

10) Make friends

You probably have friends already, but make more. In retirement, you need people around. Plan trips together. Build friendships around shared interests and activities. If you're married, make couple friends, but also make your own. Life happens—if something happens to your spouse first, couple friends often drift away. Single friendships give both of you space and freedom to do things separately. That matters.